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L scully

may 19, 2020

madrid, spain

Adele: Are you a cat or a dog?

L: I was really relieved that this was a question because I feel so strongly about this. I'm a dog.

Ava: Ok, great, another dog for the team. The dog team.

L: What are you guys?

Ava: We're both cats, right?

Adele: I think so, yeah.

Ava: Well, I'm definitely a cat.

Adele: I'm pretty sure I'm a cat. I only say that because I don't really know what cats are like, because I've never lived with a cat, but I think I'm a cat just from observing them from afar and what other people tell me.

Ava: But I think of the artists, of the people we've interviewed, it's been about half and half. And there are some people in the middle who are cat-dogs.

L: I'm definitely, steadfastedly a dog lesbian.

Ava: Can you tell us why you are a dog?

L: When I was a kid, I basically used to be a furry and thought that I was a wolf, so I think it just runs really deep. I was in second grade like, howling at the moon and shit. My whole life I wanted a dog more than anything in the whole world and then when I finally got a dog I was like, this is it, I've made it. My biggest goal is to adopt my own dog. I just fucking love dogs, and dogs love me. My partner's a dog walker, I used to be a dog walker, we're just big dog people. I'm definitely one of those memes where it's like, people making out with their dog.

Adele: Do you think that you were a dog in a past life?

L: I don't know if I believe in past lives. I don't really believe in much of anything at all. I think that maybe somewhere in the universe my speck of dust was a dog, yes, but it's hard to say.

Ava: Can you describe your creative practice as a party?

L: Yes. This is the one question I know how to answer. Besides the dog one. It's a play party, like BDSM. Everybody has gone home except for me and Eileen Myles. No one else is there.

Ava: Oh my god.

L: And the lighting is Felix Gonzalez-Torres style but with red bulbs. So it's like dungeony but also delicate and beautiful and the soundtrack is Yo La Tengo.

Ava: Ok, yes. So everyone's gone home, what time is this happening now?

L: It's like the standard time when play parties end, like midnightish. They start really early because you're usually sober. That's the other thing, it's 420 friendly but no one's drinking. So me and Eileen are smoking a jay, having some virgin cocktails. Oh, and all of the food is orange.

Ava: Ohh, wow. Where does that come from? When we had the corner office space and we did exhibition openings, all of our snacks were all orange.

L: Orange is the best flavor of everything and orange snacks always taste the best. Also I have multiple mental illnesses that make me attached to orange.

Ava: Gotcha. It is true, I mean—cheese.

L: Cheetos, orange soda, orange slices, every type of juice that's good.

Ava: Baby carrots.

Adele: Yeah, orange snacks are really the best. Goldfish.

Ava: So, you've got red lights, orange food... what are you wearing? What is Eileen wearing?

L: Alright, Eileen is wearing their normal clothes. Eileen came dressed just completely in their 1970s Boston to New York transplant look. Probably wearing a denim jacket, and their hair is a little stringy in a really hot way. I'm wearing a completely leather outfit—not like, a latex suit, I mean just like a little leather singlet, and some sort of hot bra thing.

Ava: Ok, nice. I like those two outfits juxtaposed and thinking of both of you just kind of like, hanging out, chatting.

L: This is loosely based on a real experience I had with not Eileen Myles. But I wished it was them.

Ava: Do you feel like your creative process mostly happens at night? Are you a night person?

L: I am definitely a night person. I feel like I do a lot of meditating on stuff at night and then I dream and sometimes I wake up and write it all down in the morning.

Ava: Have you been having crazy dreams lately?

L: Yeah, I mean, I take a shit ton of meds, so I always have crazy crazy dreams, but it's definitely been exceptional this quarantine.

Adele: That's what I'm hearing from a lot of folks. Like, really intense dreams this time.

Ava: Yeah, I think every night I have some kind of really vivid long dream. They're not even that crazy but they're just so long and I wake up still in the mindset. It's kind of exhausting.

Adele: Would you describe the different elements of your practice? What genres do you work with?

L: Sure. I'm a writer, and I'm also an artist, but I feel like I'm first and foremost a writer. And I think that right now the majority of my art practice is centered around the idea of Instagram as a performance, and the act of disseminating different resources is the artful thing I'm trying to do. I feel like that sounds stupid when I say it, but it feels like that's the intent behind it. And then with writing, my work has been called by other people 'alternative creative nonfiction,' so basically like, really honest memoir that makes people uncomfortable and has a lot of gay sex. I do a lot of flash and short form pieces, and other than that I just kind of exist as a weird entity on the internet, like a weird type of quasi-performance thing.

Ava: I was gonna ask if you consider Instagram to be part of your practice. Especially your self—well, I don't know how you think of them, but I see them as self-portraits.

L: I think Instagram for me is definitely a pillar of creativity and what I center a lot of my practice around. Instagram is my art practice right now, and there are different ways that I'm trying to perform being an authentic person online. It's a thing that I think about a lot and try to engage with and also, you know, use it for a purpose and share some resources, because that's kind of ‘anti’ what social media is supposed to be about.

Ava: Yeah, I have such a fraught relationship with Instagram. The way that I see you use it and other people using it in different ways is inspiring. It's so nice to see the possibilities of disseminating resources. I just can't connect with it in that way, with the way that I present myself on it, but you and people who are doing different things keep me coming back and give me hope for a platform that we all know is problematic and complex and complicated.

L: I think I just started using it selfishly in a way, as like a personal public diary, but then I realized that a lot of what I wanted to say was resonating with people who felt like they didn't have a space to talk about like, mental illness, and then I was like, oh wait, this could actually be a way of forging some sort of small community. Now I feel very connected to my Instagram. I feel like that's so stupid to say, but it's true. It's honestly part of my support system at this point. I have these people online that I only interact with online and I run multiple different types of little mental illness niches online and that's where I get a lot of my support, especially when I'm in Spain.

Ava: Yeah. Can you talk about some of the mental illness groups or events that you have been doing? Especially in quarantine, but maybe you've been doing them beforehand, too.

L: Yeah, I've had a couple different projects. One of the things that I facilitate is a group chat for queer people with OCD, which has been pretty long running and is probably my biggest piece of support for managing my own illness, which is really amazing. It's a group chat on Instagram of 20-25 people. It's confidential, group therapy style, and you can share whatever you want any time of day and someone is going to have the spoons to respond. For me it's been pretty significant, and hopefully for some of the other people it's been helpful too.

Adele: That sounds incredibly empowering.

L: Yeah. It's so helpful. I think I realized the importance of a group therapy approach in my life because I just finished outpatient treatment a couple months ago and that peer support is the most important thing to me, over connecting with a therapist or anything. We have our own resources and we don't necessarily need mediation by a professional. I made an e-book, which is poorly designed but lovingly made, over the skills that I've shared over quarantine. It's a 220 page book of screenshots of the skills that I've shared on Instagram. Most of those skills came from my time in outpatient therapy, but also a little bit from my experiences in therapy in general and trying to reclaim some of my inpatient experience as well.

Oh, and then I have mental illness brunch, which is really fun. That's been on Zoom so far because I got shadow-banned on Instagram, but it's gonna start being on Instagram. On Zoom it's been 7-9 people and it's biweekly and every time there's been a speaker who gives like, a podcast style presentation about either a certain condition or experience or skill. I'm trying to think about what we've had so far—CPTSD and trauma and triggers and eating disorders. We have two this week about childhood emotional abuse and autism and assertiveness for trauma survivors. There's been a lot of topics covered so far, and there haven't even been that many brunches, so I'm excited about it.

Adele: Whoa. Can we join?

L: Yeah! Please join, yes.

Ava: Did your Instagram community start with friends, with people that you know, and do you feel like it's expanded into a much wider, broader community, or do you still feel like it's mostly people that you know?

L: I feel like it's a little bit of both. The way that I got a lot of people that I didn’t know following me is that I had a Personals ad back in the day. Then all of these gay people followed me, and I was like, whoa, what's happening. It was also a time in my life where I was super slutty and really engaging online in a sexy way, which was really fun and led to a lot of good new friendships. Since then I've made my Instagram private, because I have, you know, family members who I don't want to see pics of my ass and also like, stuff about my chronic suicidality. It's just nice to have some degree of privacy. Now that it's private, which it has been for a while, I pretty much know everyone. There are a few people I'm like, I don't really know who you are but you engage with my stuff, so we sort of know each other, I guess. For the most part, I feel like it's a community of people that I know and trust to the extent of letting them follow me. And I’m definitely kind of reserved about who I let follow me.

Ava: Yeah, that makes sense. Since you mentioned Personals, how do you feel about Lex?

L: I feel like it's not really a presence in my life. I randomly made a post on it like a month ago because I was super fucking bored in quarantine. A couple people were like, I want your nudes, and I didn't respond to them. And that's pretty much been my whole relationship with it.

Ava: I recently took Lex off my phone because it's too overwhelming. You have to just spend hours reading.

L: Yeah, and I'm a visual person, and I like Instagram because I like to stalk and stuff, and it's frustrating when people don't link their Instagrams because I'm like, I wanna know who you are!

Adele: Yeah, totally. When Lex came out in the beginning of November I was so stoked because I was living in my van and traveling across the country in rural America, and it was really exciting to have a platform that was only queer people, for any sort of connection. I really loved it, for like a month I was really obsessed, and then I literally haven't opened it at all in quarantine. I downloaded Tinder.

L: Yeah, it can be pretty overwhelming.

Ava: That brings me to the next thing I'm curious about, which was your matchmaking project. Adele, I don't know if you know about that, but L did this queer matchmaking project on Instagram, kind of near the beginning of quarantine, maybe?

L: Yeah, I've done a couple rounds of it, and obviously matchmaking itself isn’t ‘branded,’ but I totally stole this idea from my friend who's also an amazing content creator and person. They were like, oh, I wanna do a queer matchmaking project, and I was like, oh, I wanna do this on my Instagram. I was like, ok, I'm going to credit you and go ahead and try to do it with my followers. They have a ton of followers and were doing it in a really serious way and I was like, I know most of my followers so I'm just gonna match you guys and it'll be fun. So yeah, I've done a couple different rounds. It’s on my Instagram stories, like, a questionnaire of what you're attracted to and what you're looking for, and then I manually make a chart out of everything and match people based on their preferences which takes like, literally 24 hours to do. It’s very labor-intensive. The second time that I did it, I was like, this will actually generate some money and I can give it to a good cause rather than me just doing all of this work for very little return. I gave the proceeds to the National Bail Out Fund. I think that was a smarter way of doing that. It's really fun, I'm probably gonna do another one soon, now that you've reminded me of it. Maybe I'll do one tonight because I'm super bored.

Ava: Have they been successful, do you know? Any successful matches?

L: There's been a range of success. People are shy! I'm like, tell me what happened, tell me what's going on. People are like, you know, we're talking about our dogs, or some people are disappointed because they don't have a nudes exchange yet. I'm like, you guys, you have to be patient, good things come to those who wait. But yeah, I think there have at least been a lot of successful Instagram connections made, which to me is a success.

Adele: Totally. Whoa, so fun.

L: Yeah, I wanna do another one because I've just been so bored, and I've been working on so much writing. I need something to spice up my life.

Adele: We'll stay tuned. I'm so bored, too, so this is great, I can't wait.

L: Yeah, no, I can't wait for you to answer my little questions!

Ava: I think I was too shy to answer last time but maybe I'll answer this time.

L: You should definitely do it, because if anything, you just get a new buddy. Or you meet the love of your life. No pressure.

Ava: I feel like that's a good segway to romance.

Adele: Romance, yeah, totally! What's your definition of romance? Does romance play into your work?

L: Yeah, I mean, I think in some ways romance is kind of the basis of where my creative practice comes from. I first started posting more vulnerable stuff on Instagram in the wake of a breakup. Most of my creative nonfiction has to do with past relationships. Not like, breakup stories, but stories about queer love and how it is there for a while and then it goes away. I think that’s kind of how I consider romance. And then in my life, I’m pretty into the concept of relationship anarchy and breaking down what romance is and what it should look like. I consider myself to have different types of partners for different things, so I have multiple romantic partners, I have sexual partners, and I have my domestic partner. I think of it as building something together, and that's been a learning process for me, because if you read my writing it's literally so depressing—not that the writing is depressing, but the outcome of love doesn't look very good. I'm learning how to incorporate stability into my life, and therefore also into my creative practice.

Ava: Is seeking stability a big part of the relationships that you pursue or try to maintain?

L: Yeah, I'm getting to a point in my life, which I'm very proud of, where I no longer think that healthy relationships are boring. For a while I mistook drama for passion, and now I'm like, no, there can be safety and security, and there can be passion. Part of that came from dating someone who's ten years older than me and was like, you're a baby, let me tell you how love is, and I was like, okay, you're right.

Ava: I think that's something that I'm coming to terms with too. For me it has to do with getting past that swept-off-your-feet infatuation and passion—to me that now feels very unstable and it always ends up being unsustainable. I’m trying to go into relationships now with much more awareness of that and trying to get beyond that, or see beyond that, or push myself beyond that. But it is hard because that’s what romance has been to me for so long.

L: Yeah, me too. I feel like I'm relearning step one, what is romance, because now I realize that not wanting to puke all the time is a good thing.

Ava: Yeah, there is something truly romantic about not wanting to puke all the time. Good to flip that definition.

Adele: Right, or there's romance in the person who just shows up for you all the time. You're like, huh, okay... I guess in my past relationships, that was never really a guarantee. It was so dramatic, they were there for me super intensely, and then they would like, not pick me up from the airport or some shit. Whiplash. Everything was such breakneck speed. Now I'm just like, if you return my phone calls and you keep calling me, keep texting me, keep hanging out, I'm like ok, this is fine.

L: This time last year I was hospitalized for psychiatric reasons and the same week I lost my housing and broke up with my ex-girlfriend. Everything went to shit at once. I think that experience gave me a ton of clarity about what type of person I want to be with and what type of person I deserve, and how I need consistency. You shouldn't be with people who are gonna abandon you at the low points, or even in the mundane moments, like picking you up from the airport.

Ava: Were the housing and the ex-girlfriend related?

L: No, actually, they weren't.

Adele: Oh. That's like a real triple trifecta of real shit.

L: Yeah, I know. It was. And I quit my job. It was terrible.

Ava: Do you feel like that had anything to do with thinking about coming to Spain, or are those not related?

L: No, it is. I think something that I learned this year is that you can go really far away and you still have the same problems.

Adele: Yep!

L: Which, like, people had told me, and I thought I knew, but I really know now. It’s why I had to go back to the US and do outpatient. I'm actually so glad I did that and I'm so glad that that played out the way that it did, because I think I was running away from a lot of things. I had applied for the program here before all of that happened, but after it happened I had this major fuck it attitude and I was just in such limbo, working random jobs and not being very attached to anything in life at all. And then I came here and was like, wait, I have all of this fucking trauma that I need to deal with and now I'm really far away from my support system, so it's even harder. So that's been a learning experience for sure.

Adele: Yeah. Yeah, no matter where you go, there you are. That shit is fucking true.

Ava: Yeah. My whole journey to Spain—I wouldn't say it was necessarily directly prompted by a horrible breakup, but—

L: Related.

Adele: Yeah. I mean, the reason I'm out here in California is not related to a breakup, just… loss.

L: I think that makes sense. We're trying to physically move on by moving ourselves.

Ava: Motion feels good. We end up with ourselves in the end always, wherever, but motion feels like a transformation of energy to a certain extent, which is nice.

Adele: Land and place holds a lot of memory, so for me, it was excruciating to be in Virginia after Sam died. I was like, ok, well, I'm just gonna go seek some new experiences and go somewhere else where I'm not literally triggered by walking outside, you know. So, it helps. But yeah, I mean, I brought all my shit with me. And yeah, being so distant from my community can be scary, to realize that you're pretty alone, so I don't know. The internet is great for long-distance community building and support.

L: I feel like I sound stupid when I talk about the importance of Instagram in my life, but honestly as a person with mental illness, it's such a pillar of stability that I need, a place of networking of care. Every time I go see a therapist they're like, spend less time online, and I'm like fuck you! I can do what I want! You know?

Ava: Yeah. I think it's really important to think of Instagram in that way and to use it in that way, too, as much as possible.

Ava: Well, the romance follow-up question is supposed to be about intimacy, but now I feel like we've moved into a home territory, in a sense. Can you talk about what home is to you and what is your relationship to home? What are you feeling and thinking about home?

L: Yeah. Related to what I just said, about bringing all your shit with you, I really feel like home is where I am, which is good and bad in different ways. Something that I always think is funny about myself is that if I'm visiting somewhere new, and I've never been there before, when I get tired and I want to go back to the place that I'm staying, I'm like, let's go home! And whoever I'm with is like, that's not home. And I'm like, but it is! In this moment, it's home. I feel that way about wherever I go. I bring my shit with me emotionally, so that's just kind of where I am.

Adele: Do you move around a lot?

L: I guess I have, yeah. I did some big cross country moves as a kid, which I think impacted me in some pretty significant ways. I don't have that much family in the US, my mom's from England and my dad's family's from Ireland, so I didn't particularly grow up with a family network nearby outside my immediate family. To me, going to my mom's home has been like, going to this little village in the north of England, and that's kind of a piece of home to me. So there's been different places that I've lived with my immediate family, then I moved away to college and I stayed in DC for six years, and then I just kind of fucked off to Spain and made that home. I'm probably moving back to Boston, which is where I was born, which feels to me like this big kind of homecoming type move. I moved away from there when I was six and I've basically spent my whole life trying to get back there by way of Spain, England, and DC. So I think that's gonna feel good.

Adele: Yeah, totally. I like this idea of home as where you rest, you know, where you go when you're tired. Home is your bed. Home is where you sleep.

Ava: I think that is actually a big definition for me. It's like, home is whatever bed I can get to. Whatever bed, whatever bathroom... that's great.

L: Whatever shower.

Adele: Shower is big.

Ava: Adele knows after the van trip.

Adele: Jesus Christ. I showered like, every two weeks. I took this one shower at my friend Bea's house who I'd just met earlier that day, and it was incredible—it was a divine shower. I don't know if I'll ever feel so divine in the shower again. It was a beautiful shower, too. It had little round pebbles in the floor as the tiles. It was really beautiful. Showers are good.

L: Sometimes I have photoshoots in the shower. Just to be like, I feel happy here. I used to house sit and I would take these self portraits in the shower. I would bring their plants into the shower with me and water the plants and take pictures and feel up my boobs and look at myself in the shower and I was like, this is home.

Adele: That's how I feel in the bath. Baths are so good for that.

Ava: For the most part, I really like my apartment, but the shower leaves so much to be desired. I don't enjoy showering at all, which is sad.

Adele: I'm really excited, this new place that I'm moving to has a shower head that looks like some sort of futuristic—it was a big selling point. My friend whose house I'm moving into was like, the shower head is incredible. So, I'm hoping that will be great, and there's a bathtub, and that should be great, too. The bedroom is tiny but like, those things are important.

Ava: After living in a place with this shower that I despise, I'm gonna be paying a lot more attention to future places that I look at.

L: It's important.

Ava: Do you feel at home in any sense in Spain, in Madrid?

L: I mean, sorta, because I'm here, this is where I am. My bed is here, my shower is here. I do feel really attached to my apartment. I have a really nice apartment. I was really lucky with the way that played out, because it's so much cheaper than what you get in the US. So it's like, wow, I'm living in the nicest place I've ever lived, aside from my parents'. It just feels really stable to have that sense of ‘I like going home.’ Going home feels happy. I love my room so much. I've lived in a lot of fucking basements. I've lived in some really shithole places. I think this is the first time I've had my own room in my adult life. I guess I had my own room for six months at one point, but in general I've lived in basements with multiple people super illegally, and now I have this bright sunny room, and I'm like, this is homey.

Adele: I'm glad for that. Good light is really important. Not for everyone, but for me I'm just like, I can't live in a hole.

Ava: Yeah, I don't think I would've survived quarantine without my window.

L: I definitely realized after living in basements for however long, like, I can't do this anymore.

Adele: What's the deal with Spain's quarantine?

Ava: I just read today that Pedro Sanchez is trying to extend it to June 27.

L: Fuck.

Ava: Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

Adele: Well, LA's extended its stay-at-home order to July 15.

Ava: I know, but you don't get arrested for being outside at the wrong time, or whatever.

Adele: That's what's happening in Spain? It's like, way more fascist?

Ava: I feel like because they're starting to loosen the restrictions, it's really not so risky, but I feel like it's technically a risk. I don't know. L, what's your take?

L: If you go somewhere, like, you're walking with a destination, no one really bothers you, if you're wearing a mask. I've done that a couple days, where I'm like, I'm gonna take a three mile walk to the pharmacy because I can. And it's been fine, but there are definitely police everywhere.

Adele: That's terrifying.

L: It is terrifying, though I also think that the US is being so irresponsible that I'm glad I'm in a place where they're taking public health more seriously. Not that the police need to be involved with that.

Ava: Yeah, I've felt the same way.

Adele: Yeah, I mean, it's definitely a shit show here.

Ava: I just really, really want to be able to go to the park in the middle of the day, not to exercise, but to lie in the sun for an hour and read, or something.

L: I went to Retiro today and it was all closed. It was really sad.

Ava: There's a really nice big park in my neighborhood, and it's not closed by gates or walls or anything, so I think I could technically sneak my way in there. I’d just have to hide, find a little place to stay hidden. And maybe I should. Maybe it's time.

L: Yeah, it might be worth it.

Ava: You can walk in the park during the exercise hours, but the entire world is walking at the same time. People aren't wearing masks.

L: I know, that's the thing that really freaks me out, is that there's this limited time that you can go out and it's absolutely everybody and I'm like, guys this is super stupid.

Adele: Well, here people are just like, flouting all the restrictions all the time. People are on the beach, hanging out, no masks, people are at parks, yeah. Luckily I live outside of LA so it's like, pretty unpopulated, but still. I was sneaking into our parks and stuff, too. They just re-opened them, thank god, and there aren’t time restrictions, which is nice.

L: Yeah, the time restriction is a lot.

Ava: I think it doesn't make sense.

Adele: Speaking of pandemic things, how has your idea of intimacy shifted or changed during the pandemic?

L: I think I'm relying more on my online community for sure, but also the ways I've been experiencing intimacy have been kind of new. The matchmaking thing I really liked because that's a way of being involved with intimacy and fostering intimacy in the lives of other people, which feels fun and like a way to stay occupied and connect with people. And then there have been other little displays, like I've been making my grandpa trivia questions and calling and doing trivia with him. I've never called my grandpa that much in my life, so it's been pretty nice.

Ava: What was your definition of intimacy pre-pandemic? How were you thinking about intimacy before all of this?

L: I think I was sharing intimacy more. When I first was in Spain I was meeting people and sleeping with people and all of this stuff and now it's quarantine and I feel like I've just been honing in on the people that I have and continuing to build those relationships, which I think is more important than I realized beforehand.

Ava: Yeah, it's definitely felt like a time for relationship maintenance. That's why I feel like I was nervous for this interview because I was like, ok, I haven't met a new person in like, three months now.

L: Yeah. I'm not scary, though.

Ava: No. We should go on a socially-distanced picnic or something when things relax to the proper extent.

L: We should move this offline.

Ava: The last question: what is romancing you these days? What are you in love with?

L: Honestly, I've been getting pretty into my own brain, which has been good for me, because I've always thought of my brain as something that's sick or broken. Especially recently, as I've started writing more and more, I've been like, holy shit, there's some good stuff up there, and I can put it into words and share it with people. Also just in terms of trying to share some resources online, I'm like, oh, I made something and it was helpful. Clearly what's coming out of my brain isn't all bad. So I've been giving myself more credit than I have in a long time, and I’ve been more interested in caring for myself, been more interested in what I need. Honestly, sleep has been pretty hot to me recently. Being a nighttime person, I usually just stay up all night, but now I'm like, no, you know what, I can just go to bed. Taking care of my brain in that way has been this weird dating process almost. Being like, I respect you.

Ava: Yeah, brain celebration. I love that.

L: Yeah! It's new.

Ava: Do you have a writing schedule or routine or do you do it when it flows?

L: Yeah, it kind of hits me and then I do it, but my general routine is that I usually write for a couple days and then I spend the next couple days submitting my writing to different lit mags, so it's like a cycle of writing, submitting, writing, submitting, and then a day or two of resting and trying to delve deeper into my brain to figure out what I have to say.

Ava: I'm so inspired by all of the submitting. I can't ever bring myself to that point.

L: You can definitely join my writing accountability group. I have a couple writer friends and we check in about writing and submitting every week and it's really nice.

Ava: Ok, cool. I mean, I would love to get in on that, because my accountability to myself is—we'll just say lacking.

Adele: I know, my accountability to myself during quarantine has just plummeted. I don't know. I'm usually relatively self-motivated and in the past two months I've been like, I can't. It's nice to have accountability groups for sure.

L: Yeah, no, if you need a writing one, I'm it.

Ava: Where do you find things to submit to?

L: You know Entropy Magazine? They have a list of places of where you can submit, so that was my jumping off point. Other than that, I made a Twitter so I can post when I have writing acceptances, and I've just been scrolling Twitter looking for journals. There's a lot of them out there. There's hope.

Ava: I have such a hard time finishing anything. And then I'll see something that I want to submit to and I'm like, last minute trying to wrap up a story or edit a story and it's all too rushed.

L: Today I woke up at 7:30 by accident and I was like, oh, I really want to submit to this random website and I wrote something literally in the course of thirty seconds and emailed it to them. I was like, here's 200 words I just wrote. Here you go.

Ava: I need a little bit of that attitude in my life.

L: Just be like, fuck it.

Ava: I'm such a perfectionist and don't ever get anything done. I don't ever finish anything.

L: What's your sign?

Ava: I'm a Sagittarius sun, although truly right on the cusp of Scorpio, and a Scorpio moon, and a Capricorn rising.

L: Oh, well, there you go.

Adele: There's your Cap! There's your perfection. What's your sign, L?

L: I'm a Cap! I'm a double Capricorn. And I'm a Leo rising, which is why I'm ridiculous on the internet. It's all there. What are you?

Adele: I'm a Taurus sun, Virgo moon, and Aquarius rising.

L: Oh my god, I love the double earth energy. Like, I fucking love earth signs.

Adele: Same, same. I understand.

L: We just know how to have a good time.

Adele: But also I like fire signs, actually.

Ava: Thank you.

L: I mean, I like my fire, but I was dating a triple fire sign and that was too much.

Adele: I have had really explosive friendships and relationships with fire signs.

L: My best friend is an Aries and so is my mom.

Adele: It happens. All my best friends are fire signs, actually. That's funny. I love them.

L: I have a good mix, yeah.

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

Buy L’s first chapbook, Like Us, right here!